A story I shared with my Therapist last year

It was one of my last sessions with her and we sat facing each other in her office and she asked me her last question.

"Have you ever regretted being a male...when you look back are there any regrets?"

I told her "no, I never had any regrets presenting male."

I then explained my answer to her.

"I understand some girls really hated being male and this was something they had to do to transition. It was life or death. For them that is their burden and I respect that and in some ways I know what they are going through but to be honest I never hated it."

"Really?" She asked. "Explain more"

"well, I see my life in terms of a Buddhist monk. A Buddhist monk knows without a shadow of a doubt that he or she does not belong in this transitory world. The life after this world is their ultimate achievement in which they know they are enlightened and can pass on to Nirvana in which their soul becomes part of the greater universal consciousness. To a Buddhist Monk or follower there is no greatest achievement to have.

However, they know they live in this world right now and they made peace that they are here for however long of a time that their bodies allow them to remain. They make the best of it. The meditate, pray, involve themselves in helping others, and they assist the poor or those who cannot take care of themselves. While they passionately know this world isn't the ultimate answer, they also understand that they belong to the world for whatever time they have.

In terms of me being male and with reflection, I see those traits in my life. I knew without a shadow of a doubt I did not belong in this body. I made the best of it. I had three beautiful children and I got to see what is was like to live a life in a male gender under these male social roles. With that said, I knew this was only a transitory life for me and being female was the ultimate goal for my direction.

When I transition, I will take the appreciations and gifts I had learned and experienced as a male to heart but as a female, only will my true sense of purpose can be realized. I have no regrets. I can only look forward and immerse myself in the dreams that have come true."

I wanted to share that in case others had the same reflections.