Well, first of all, I thought we were kinda a rarity in the terms of the whole straight, lesbian, gay, bi sexual worlds so hearing that comment usually always have me thinking "wow, you met more transgender people in person than I have!" I don't think we are as rare as one would think but I haven't really met face to face many transgender people. But that is beside the point.
The second thing I usually think of is "why do you say that? Are we all kinda crazy from the encounters you have had?"
Personally, I really don't know what I think about that topic of craziness and transgender people. To be honest, I think when it comes to mental stability, we are just like any other person. You have those who are on the straight and narrow, you have those who are not and you have those in between. Now, I have not met many transgender girls "in real life" but I know many online and they are pretty much on the same level as the rest of society.
However, I do have to say that we probably wrestle with depression a helluva lot more than your typical "straight soccer mom." We are born in the wrong body. That has to put our brains in the blender at some point in our lives.
When it comes to Gender Identity Dysphoria (GID), I can safely say that is all but a distant memory to me since I transitioned (for those who do not know what GID is, it is an unnerving pain in the ass depression that always chips away at your resolve because you are not presenting in the gender you know you were meant to be). Thank goddess that issue has been resolved for me. I am not out of the boat yet.
I still suffer from bouts of melancholiness. Not depression really....melancholy. It will always be with me until I a reunited with my children. I lost all three one day without warning because my ex became involved in a sect of a religion that promoted hate more than love and charity. The last time I had seen my three children (ages 2, 7, and 9) was Wednesday night, August 19, 2009. In a snap of a finger, they were gone. My gender therapists had told me that the pain is identical of a parent loosing three of their children through a death because I have not seen, nor heard from them since that Wednesday night. Not one day goes by where I do not collapse on my bed or sofa and weep for them. Sure, I know they are still alive but the pain of not holding them, kissing them, telling them their bedtime stories, sharing in their lives is the same intolerable pain. The more frustrating thing is the fact that they have no idea that their daddy is now one of their mommies. When the time do come to pass where I will be able to see them, they may be young adults and I can only pray that they did not fall down the same destructive spiritual path their biological mother went down.
When I first started to transition, the excitement of me becoming the woman I was suppose to be had masked the grief loosing my children but as I have become used to being a woman that pain for my children grows only stronger.
I feel blessed that I do not suffer from many of the mental ailments that my transgender brothers and sisters face because if I had to go through those ailments on top of the grief for my children, I simply do not know how I would respond.
So, I may seem like the "normal" transgender girl so many of my friends are not used to seeing but deep down inside I still ache and hurt. It may not be manic depression, bi polar disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome or whatever but I still hurt and my soul is terribly empty and will remain so until I can kiss my children again.
We all go through crap in life. If we didn't, we would not be human. Some have heavier crosses to bear than others but in end, pain hurts no matter what form pain manifests in.
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